We all know and love the classic Christmas tale, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. I’ve taken the liberty to tweak it quite a bit. It is now politically incorrect, a bit inappropriate, probably offensive to many, but fitting for Christmas 2012. ~~Sister Patriot
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the White House
Moochelle was eating Twinkies, while B.O. was still a louse.
Their stockings were hung on the chimney by the stair
While they laughed at the fools who voted for Obamacare.
Harry and Nancy were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of voter fraud danced in their heads.
Jarrett in her kerchief and Holder in his cap
Had just settled down because they didn’t give a crap.
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter
B.O. sprung from his bed to see what was the matter!
He ran like the wind, but stopped as fast as he started.
He stared at Moochelle who had apparently farted.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow appeared to him as he threw open the window.
When what to his flabbergasted eyes should appear
but Barney Frank on the lawn, excreting a tear.
“Barney, what’s wrong? Tell me! I insist!”
“Santa isn’t coming! We’re on the naughty list!”
A sudden jingle of bells and a great “HO-HO-HO!”
In a moment B.O. knew that Christmas would blow.
The strength of the reindeer shown as they flew.
Santa gestured to B.O. & said, “Hey you!”
“The American people are sad on this Eve.
You won’t take their Christmas. To this, I will see!
Your time in office has taken it’s toll.
Therefore, in your stocking, you’ll find only coal.”
Just then Pelosi joined B.O. at the sill.
Santa just grimaced and said, “I feel ill.”
Her eyes did not twinkle with Juvederm in her dimples.
Her cheeks were synthetic, her skin had no pimples.
Pursed little lips, her face did not move a muscle.
Santa knew Botox was flowing through every corpuscle.
“My reindeer are scared!” Santa said with a start.
“I’ve had enough and we’re leaving these parts.”
They watched as the sleigh flew out of sight.
B.O. sighed and said, “Darn, we should’ve listened to the Right.”
“Don’t say such a thing!” Nancy said without a grin.
“Now someone HURRY and get me some Gin.”
Now the house was abuzz! Not one single present!
Moochelle came downstairs. The mood was not pleasant.
“Coal in my stocking?! How can this be?!!”
Moochelle bellowed to her personal staff of twenty-three.
By now Santa was flying over the sea.
He chuckled to himself and slapped on his knee.
“It’s time to take a stand. To speak up for what’s right.”
“Merry Christmas to all & to all a good night!”